Thursday, January 12, 2012
I have had a frustrating past few days. Everything that's going on is creating a noise in my head, a lot like static. It all just jumbles together into one big overwhelming ridiculousness.
School is back in session after the long luxurious holiday break. I don't like school (still). I don't like it for my children because my children learn differently than I feel mainstream children learn, and my kids aren't mainstream. And they're being shoved into this box to learn a certain way and memorize things to pass tests but they aren't actually learning and now there is confusion with what to memorize and what to learn. I know the solution to this, but not everyone is on board. Static.
I am working on an epic baby blanket and it all came together beautifully until the final step when I realized one of my fabrics was not made of what I thought it was, and now I have to go an entirely different way with it, or scrap it. Static.
Jude was breastfed until he was 15 months old. I nursed him to sleep every time he went to sleep until 4 months ago when I put him on bottles for naps and night time so he could still suck to sleep and "control" the flow of the milk. I took his bottle away and traded him a sippy cup to sleep with and he has.. ahem.. protested. I'm not sleeping. He's not sleeping. And I realized that the only reason I have a "thing" about him having his bottle at night, is because other parents want their babies off of bottles by 1 yr (Dylan and Hayden slept in cribs and took formula and bottles and they got off of bottles completely by 1 yr so this is a contributing factor to my thing) so I suppose I'm trying to be socially acceptable... at the expense of what my child really wants. I'll figure out what is going to work best for us, without societal influence, but until then... static.
Remember that post about moving on a while back? Yea, well. We made the decision to stay here. Take care of and build up what is ours (we literally bought these houses in August) so that when the time to leave is right we don't have a bunch of loose ends. So we are not leaving. We are going to build another bedroom onto our house so we have more space. Dylan, on the other hand, talks about our house burning down and we just get a new house (that's the way Dylan does it, ya'll. Extreme solutions) And with any home improvement project, there is ... you guessed it. Static.
I'm hoping my mind will settle soon. I'm sure once the blanket is fixed it will settle. Nothing like finishing a project and taking pride in it!