“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You
I can feel it in my gut. I've felt it for a long time. Our time in this house, this town even- is expiring.
I love big life changes. New job, new house, new interests... it's exciting.
I moved around a lot when I was growing up. My parents divorced when I was young and my mother remarried several times and almost every time she remarried or dated someone we moved and I had to start a life all over again. New school, new friends, new family dynamic. It's the truth- the way it was. I did not grow up in the same house my whole childhood and I don't have lifelong friends. People kind of come and go in my life and it's just something I am used to. I don't live near my family, but we visit often and work to nurture those relationships.
I often wonder if I had grown up in one house, would I be different. Would I not feel the need to move on.... If I had roots, would I - could I stay?
I certainly feel the voids. I wish I had people I could call on when I needed help. A sick child to help with, to send a meal when times are tough, to watch the boys while I run to the store. I wish I had a sense of community, surrounded by like minded souls.
I've been in this town for 10 years. Wow.
10 years.
This is not the town for me, or my family... I long to be somewhere else. Out of state. The world is full of places far more interesting than this. Life is too short to stay in one place.
Soon.
I feel exactly the same way and our stories are similar. I don't know where my sense of belonging is but it certainly isn't Columbia or anywhere I've lived thusfar. My lack of being surrounded by community makes me wish I lived back when things were simplier. When survival and family were important values...
ReplyDeleteI don't know anyone who "wants" to live here! GET OUT while u still can lol. Seriously, follow ur heart but find a place and give your kids that "lifelong friendship" and family u didn't have. Living near ur family is not all its cracked up to be-trentons goin on 16 months n I've not had 1 hour to myself n he's only been babysat 3 times by my maw in law n once by my ma -each time for me n bob to handle business. I find u rely on yourself and your instincts......ur a wonderful person, friend, mother and wife and whatever town u move to should feel privilaged to have u.
ReplyDeleteMake me cry why don't cha? <3
ReplyDelete